Violate part 11 (Sherlock's POV)

Violate part 11 (Sherlock’s POV):

“First of all, we would like to inform you that no one has contacted us and told us anything useful regarding the girl’s past,” Lestrade said, folding his hands in front of him on the table. Sherlock internally rolled his eyes, exhaling loudly. Why so formal all of the sudden?

“…This means we can’t bring her back to her biological parents, which makes adoption the only option here,” Lestrade continued. John’s hands were slightly shaking, Sherlock noticed. They looked sweaty as well, judged by the shiny reflection of the skin. Violet did not seem to notice though, as she kept examine them, carefully touching them with one finger at the time.

“We have received several files from foster homes who would be interested in her, people who are experienced and who seem absolutely ideal for the job of taking good care of her.”

The police officer looked at Sherlock, who frowned. Was he now secretly referring to Anderson’s speech? . Beside him John just stared stiffly at the table, his jaw clenched. He did not look alright, Sherlock thought, feeling it somehow was his fault. Because now she would be sent away because of him - because of the convincing speech Anderson had made, and John wouldn’t even know.

“We only want what is best for her,” Lestrade muttered confidentially, gazing at the little body on John’s lap for a second. John just nodded, almost looking like a robot, though his eyes seemed sad. Was he the only one who noticed that? Sherlock thought. He felt an urge to grab the doctor’s trembling hand but he knew he had to behave himself and closed his eyes instead, ready for the news Lestrade was about to tell.

“Especially after being reminded,” the police officer continued, “of the general state that babies are in at this age. A phase of selective behavior and generally a tendency of avoiding contact with strangers amongst other things…”

A quiet gasp escaped John’s mouth all of the sudden, but it was only Sherlock who reacted to it. He looked at the doctor with observing eyes, not understanding the flash of realization in John’s gaze until Lestrade finally finished his speech:

“… Yet you have taken on the job of taking care of her, and… Yeah, I’ve been told by several reliable sources that it has been…Been quite a success. You seem to get along with her really well and-“ Lestrade gestured with his hands as if he did not know what else to say. He bit his lips for a second, then placed his fingertips on a piece of paper in front of him on the table. A letter, possibly.

“Um… Of course keeping her a secret can be and has probably been a… a, umm… yeah, well, a mouthful for you, but that’s... We’ll figure something out. What I want to know is whether or not you would be interested in…?”

The recognition of the words hit Sherlock so hard he could not even control the voice inside his mind that started replaying the conversation he had had not even 6 hours ago:

”… It must be quite a mouthful to keep her a secret from others, but you surely seem to somehow manage…”

”… It only took a few minutes of… Let’s say psychologically guiding questions before John without noticing had revealed quite a lot of funny little anecdotes from your new life as a foster parent…”

”…Please don’t scold John because of what he told me. I needed him to elaborate when he accidentally mentioned her…”

”It was for your own good, brother”  

”An advantage, trust me.”
He couldn’t believe it. His body had completely shut itself off and it suddenly felt like he was watching himself on a screen; sitting there, next to John and Violet, eyes flickering and mouth open in total surprise.

“… Interested in… What?” he heard John ask, his voice sounded distant. Lestrade looked at the woman, who until now had kept quiet. She smiled at his shrugging, help-seeking gesture before turning her gaze towards the two men, who both were beyond speechless.

“As an expert in this field, I would say that I find it quite extraordinary that you have managed to truly bond with her so quickly. I have followed hundreds of orphan children throughout the years on their journey towards a better life and a better future and… Just seeing you communicate and interact with her so calmly, Mr Watson, really thrills me because…” she paused, smiling at the little girl in John’s lap, who had no idea what was going on around her. “… I must say that I have seen how hard it can be, especially for babies around her age and younger, to find that peaceful state of mind in the everyday. I mean, you don’t have to do a lot of observing to know that she has been treated well by you two…” she smirked, still looking at Violet, who now babbled sweet little nonsense words to herself.

“… Therefore we would like to know if you’re as interested as we are in making sure not to break that trust and that bond you obviously have developed with her throughout the last 14 days…” Lestrade added, staring at the table in… Shyness? His cheeks seemed a bit pink for his skin tone, Sherlock noticed, still feeling paralyzed, not able to react physically. His brain, on the other hand, was about to break down because of the amount of thoughts and questions that suddenly rushed through his head.

It was insane. Madness! What would John reply? Would he reject her? No, he couldn’t reject her, not now! Had Lestrade lost his mind? Was he on their side now, or was it only a façade that would vanish as soon as the expert lady left the room? Would Violet be happy with this? What would her future look like? Would she mind this? What if she turned out hating him because of this? Would-

“We-… We have discussed this at home and… We both- We both really want to keep her,” John stammered, nodding slowly at the woman. Sherlock pouted his mouth in surprise, staring ahead of him, realizing what this actually implied. He could feel the doctor’s eyes turn towards him, then quickly look the other way. Ashamed of the lie, he had just told the police. It made Sherlock smirk on the inside for some reason. He scowled at John’s shoes, noticing how the thin sole was moving downwards as the doctor obviously curled his toes.

“Really? Oh, I’m so glad to hear that,” the woman said, smiling even wider at both of them, clearly satisfied with the decision. Lestrade just nodded stiffly, not knowing where he should look. Sherlock gazed at him, then fixed his eyes on the woman who kept talking and explaining, it seemed, gesturing with her arms. He acted like he was listening; nodded and smiled at her while she babbled on about contracts and economic advantages for her company. Inside his mind, though, the voices were screaming at him, not giving him a chance to listen to anything but them. On the one hand he felt incredibly relieved and… Possibly excited. But in the middle of all this, a low, roaring, raspy voice scolded him for letting this actually happening. This is not going to work out! She will not be happy, you and John will keep fighting, one of you could die, John will leave you alone with her, none of you can stay like this, this is WRONG!

He knew that the voice had something else coming, but it was as if those thoughts had been blocked by the walls of his mind palace- they wouldn’t let the warnings come in for some reason. He wanted to forget about it, but he couldn’t because he knew that what that voice would have told him if it had been able to let itself further into his head was not good news. Not good at all. And it made him frown on the inside; the feeling of this not being the end.